


Nighttime

by veivei



Series: Dawn [4]
Category: Durarara!!
Genre: M/M, Post-Ketsu, Sequel
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-23
Updated: 2017-09-23
Packaged: 2019-01-04 09:48:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,610
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12166497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/veivei/pseuds/veivei
Summary: Kida had always known it was going to end like this.





	Nighttime

**Author's Note:**

> This is the final part of a series and in this case I'd suggest reading the previous parts first.

Kida had always known it was going to end like this. Simply because there was no other option. Izaya didn’t care about him, not really, and certainly wouldn’t have considered settling down with him in any sense of the word.

That hurt. But it couldn’t be helped. 

Saki accompanied him to Izaya’s office on the evening Kida had got out of the hospital, his leg still hurting with every step he took. Ever since that time he’d brought Chikage along for a threesome he no longer had his own access card and he had to beg Izaya to let him in every single time. Saki still had her card though and she gave it to him to open the door. 

Kida didn’t know what to expect inside. After all, they weren’t the only people who could enter this place. There was Yagiri, for once. There were others, too. In the end there were these other men Izaya fucked. But there was no one there when they stepped in and the lights were off.

“Do you think he’s dead, Masaomi?” Saki asked softly as they walked further inside.

The view out of the windows was as breathtaking as ever and the lights of the city outside provided enough illumination to see enough without turning on the lights. That was good. Kida didn’t want to raise any suspicions.

He led the way towards Izaya’s desk. It was in unusual disarray. The floor around it was covered in papers that had been removed from the binders on the shelves and the drawers of the desk haphazardly. It seemed that someone had been here before them after all.

“He’s gone either way,” Kida answered off-handedly and kneeled down next to the desk.

He hadn’t even known at first, he thought, as preoccupied as he’d been after Mikado had gotten injured. He’d only tried calling Izaya from the hospital a few days after the whole incident. Saki told him another day later what had happened when he asked her why Izaya wasn’t picking up his phone. Hearing it from her, Kida wondered if Izaya had spared him as little as a single thought before heading to fight Heiwajima to death.

“Are you looking for something, Masaomi?” Saki asked softly. 

She was visibly uneasy. 

Kida nodded and started walking around the office, peeking here and there. He hoped whoever had been here before them hadn’t had any particular interest in the archived recordings from the cameras in the room. At least not these kinds of recordings. 

Still, Kida didn’t really know what he was looking for. If, for whatever purposes, Izaya had held onto some of these, he still shouldn’t have expected more than encrypted files on random hard drives, indistinguishable from anything else and impossible for him to ever find and open. But he was still hoping to uncover something. And he found that something in the end. A DVD disc was shining on the floor under the desk when he kneeled down behind it once again. With ‘For you, Masaomi’ scribbled on top in Izaya’s handwriting. Pain shot up Kida’s injured leg when he straightened up after crouching for too long, clutching the disc tightly in his hand. He hid it in the pocket of his hoodie quickly enough for Saki not to see. 

“We can go,” he said to her.

She nodded. She seemed eager to leave.

“Did you find what you were looking for?” she asked.

Kida was sure she couldn’t have seen him pick up the DVD since he’d been behind the desk. But she still knew. As always.

He nodded.

On the way out of the office, he reached for one of the black fur lined jackets hanging by the door, he wasn’t even sure why, and took it with him.

Saki visibly unwinded once they were back out on the street.

“I know you slept with him, too, Masaomi,” she spoke up a while later.

They had never talked about that before even though it had been obvious. But maybe Izaya being gone was going to make it easier to talk about certain things. Maybe the two of them could bond now over his disappearance, Kida thought bitterly. 

“I was stupid,” he said, clutching the jacket he was carrying.

Like always when it came to Izaya. Just when he’d started to trust him again to a degree, Izaya had left him behind just like that. Of course. And all he’d had to offer was a disc, most likely containing nothing more than a recording of what they had done together.

Kida didn’t need it and he didn’t want it at all. Still, he watched it, if only to check what it even was. And it was in fact just them. Nothing more. Nothing less. All the times they hadn’t made it to the bedroom, recorded by four cameras. 

Izaya had left that for him. Which meant he’d had an idea beforehand about what might happen to him. And that was still the extent of what he was willing to give him.

Kida looked at the jacket he’d brought with him. There had been nothing interesting in the pockets when he’d looked, just some spare change and a pocket of cigarettes and a lighter. Izaya didn’t smoke as far as Kida knew but he’d sometimes smelled of cigarettes anyway. Kida had always preferred not to wonder if that had been because of him visiting certain places for work or because of other things. But maybe Izaya had smoked himself after all since he’d apparently carried cigarettes on him. Unless these were meant for someone else. Kida realized his thoughts were starting to run in circles at that point. And there was no need to even think about it. He knew very little about Izaya in the end. Having sex with him, no matter how kinky, hadn’t really changed that. It had been Izaya who had always known everything after all and no matter the actual logistics, he’d always had the upper hand. Even when Kida had involved Chikage in things. He’d just run circles around both of them then.

Saki knocked on the door of the room. Kida put the cigarettes away and closed the laptop.

“Yes?” He asked.

She entered the room and said nothing. She just approached and sat down by his side.

“Yours?” She motioned towards the cigarettes with her head when she noticed them on the table.

“Yes.”

“You think smoking is going to make things better?” she asked in a neutral voice.

“No, not really. We fucked up so bad nothing is really going to make it better.” Kida shrugged. 

“Me and you?” she asked. “Or you and Izaya?”

“There was never me and Izaya.” 

Kida stood up and as if to prove his words took the DVD out of the laptop’s drive and the cigarettes from the table and went to the kitchen to put these in the trash. 

“I’m going out,” he said to Saki after coming back into the room.

She was still sitting in the same place. She watched him as he took the fur lined jacket from where it was hanging and put it on and as he moved his knife from the pocket in his pants to the one in the jacket.

“Don’t wait up for me,” he said to her and left.

He happened to know that Chikage was currently in Saitama, so he took the train to get there. Late at night, they met in front of the station. Chikage was in his bosozoku garb and had come on a motorbike. He was looking good like that, though it was difficult to even care.

“Izaya is…” Kida opened his mouth to explain.

“I was there when it happened, Masaomi. I’ve seen it myself. What’s that?” Chikage asked, touching the fur collar of the jacket Kida was wearing.

“I knew you wanted to fuck him,” Kida said quickly. “Well, I’m not him. But I know enough about him to make a decent impression,” he offered.

“That won’t make anything better, you know.” Chikage moved his hand away.

“So that’s a ‘no’?”

“I know you were involved with him in one way or another since you were a kid. He must have grown on you in some way. But it’s over now.” Chikage shrugged. “So let me know when you’re ready to think about someone new.” He turned around and started walking away. “And take that off, you look like an idiot. Just like he did,” he added over his shoulder.

“I wonder if I should try to look for him,” Kida said softly, more to himself than to Chikage.

“Don’t bother, Masaomi. He’s dead. I’ve seen that fight. And I fought Heiwajima before. I know what it’s like. He couldn’t survive that.”

Kida’s hands curled into fists at his sides.

“See you sometime.” Chikage got on his bike and rode away.

Apparently, Kida thought, he didn’t want to deal with him the way he was right now. At least Saki stayed by his side.

They left the city together a few days later. For once, it wasn’t Izaya who decided on where they went and what for but his shadow was still hovering over them anyway. And who knew how long that was going to last. Kida certainly didn’t. Even if he chose not to think about Izaya, it seemed impossible to forget. Sometimes he thought that maybe he was going to meet him again one day, somewhere far away. And maybe not being in Ikebukuro then was going to be enough to make things better somehow.

Well, whom was he kidding. Izaya wasn’t going to change anyway.


End file.
